Encouragement for One-Sided Relationships

If there’s anything I’ve struggled with this past year, it has been knowing how to maintain the right attitude and level of commitment when it comes to one-sided relationships.  Do you know what I’m talking about?  I am sure many of you do.  These are those friendships where one person is fully invested and the other sails through without giving any thought to the needs of their comrade.

  I’ve faced several one-sided friendships throughout high school, and I grappled with how to handle them.  These relationships have caused me a great deal of frustration, confusion, and discouragement.  It is not always easy to give of yourself when you receive less than a glance in return.

  First, let me say, receiving wise counsel is always a good thing, but even Christians differ in their opinions on how you should handle these situations.  Many think you should drop the friendship all together; some think that would be selfish.  Is there a right answer?  Unfortunately, it’s not that simple.

  The best way for you to respond to a frustrating friendship will depend entirely on the specific circumstance in question.  There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this dilemma.  We all have unique needs and struggles, as well as God-given gifts and strengths in how we relate to other individuals.  Sometimes you may need to take a step back from the relationship, sometimes you may need to persist, and sometimes you may need to pour even more effort into it.

  It is important to realize that there is not a single circumstance in your life that is irrelevant to the Word of God.  The Bible is our perfect and complete guidebook; the instruction given therein is not a set of rules, but rather, a collection of principles to live by.  Because life revolves around our relationship with God and each other, the topic of relationships is one you will see repeatedly in Scripture.  Yes, the Bible has principles for your specific need, and they are good and perfect.  God does not leave us empty handed.  He has wisdom for every situation.

  The world will send you a message of self-love; its advice will be to get rid of any and all so-called “toxic” relationships that threaten to disturb your groove in life.  The world is all about doing it the easy way, the convenient way, and the selfish way.  Who cares what happens to the other person?  You do you!

  The wisdom you will receive from the Bible is counter-cultural.  You cannot chase the world and chase God unless you clone yourself.  You must choose your path.  Will you follow the world, or will you follow Jesus?

  One of the most comforting truths I cling to in tough relationships is that Jesus Christ loved and pursued me even when I lived in rebellion against Him.  He didn’t give up when the going got tough.  He didn’t give up when I stuck my tongue out in defiance.  He didn’t give up when I tortured Him on a cross.  He loved me so much, He pursued me till He got my heart.  And guess what?  I still put up a fight sometimes, and He still pursues me!  If Jesus loved me that much, shouldn’t I want to show the same love to others?

“And be ye kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” –Ephesians 4:32, KJV.

“Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that he loved us, and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” –1 John 4:10, KJV.

  When it comes to showing love in tough relationships, we have no better example than Christ Jesus.  He was despised and rejected of men (Isaiah 53:3), yet He chose the cross out of love; furthermore, He considered it joy to die (Hebrews 12:2).

  Hebrews 12 continues on to say, “For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.” (v. 3)

  If you are discouraged about a tough relationship, be encouraged to know that you are not alone.  The Bible says that we have a High Priest who is able to sympathize with our weaknesses (Hebrews 4:15).  He not only understands, He went through it Himself.  If anyone knows what it’s like to love someone without anything in return, it’s Jesus.

  Christ’s promises are glorious things.  He is with us, providing strength and grace and wisdom and encouragement for our souls.  When we walk through valleys, He is with us.

  I’ll leave you with this beautiful song that I trust will encourage your heart today.  Be Not Afraid is a choral favorite at my church, echoing the Scriptural promise from Psalm 23:4 that we have no need to fear because God is with us.